Series of Funnies
by iluv2sing19
Summary: nothing really just funny stories
1. Hermione gets a Car!

"Hello, it's me Hermione Granger! Today's my sweet sixteen, yeah!" She walks over to a man lying on the ground. "Hey Harry?" "Yeah?" he answered. " I wanna show you something." "I am soaking the sun, for your information." As if it was normal. "Um…wait a minute, we're inside a house, how can you be soaking the sun?" "Fluorescent light." He said simply. "Um, no. Harry, please I really wanna show you something. It's really cool." "Ugh, fine." He starts mumbling bad things incoherently. They walk over to a yellow car. "Whoa, nice car! I wanna drive this baby!" "No Harry, I got it for my…birthday. I wanna drive it!" "Chicks. Don't. Drive." "Harry, get in!" "Ugh fine." "Hermione, do you have a license?" "No, hold on." She starts driving fast. Harry falls out and is thrown across the floor. "Ugh, ow." "Harry, get back in." "Are you kidding me? I am not getting back in that death trap!" "Harry, GET IN!" "Ok." He climbs in halfway. "Harry, why don't you ever sit right?" "I don't know." She starts driving fast again. Harry falls out. "OW!"


	2. Ron's House

"Hello, it's me Hermione Granger again, and Harry Potter. We're at Ron's house right now; we just don't know where he is." "Uh guys I'm right here, you could've just said something. Uh I mean, I mean it's me Ron Weasley. I didn't have red hair, so I wore a red suit." We see Ron wearing a suit covering his head. "Uh Ron, that's an orange suit." Harry said. "…go away Harry. I'm gonna make some food for you guys." He starts humming. "Yummy! So Ron, umm, where are your parents and family?" Hermione asks. "They're at Chuckee Cheese's." Ron said as if it were normal. "Right…wait your family's wizards." Harry stated. "It's personal, Harry. Don't ask." 'Umm, Ron I, can I take a bath?" Hermione asks.

"Oh sure, the bath's upstairs." "Ok, umm, where's my wand…here it is. Jumpio!" she jumps to the second floor, and sees a mermaid, lying in his tub. "Uh, hello?" "Oh sorry, I'm still taking a bath." The mermaid said. Who are you?" "I'm Amber, the mermaid. Didn't Ron tell you about me?" "No. I'll just…I'll wait my turn…I'm just gonna go." She jumps down. "Uh, Ron, there's a mermaid in your…what are you doing?" she looks at him, lying on the floor. "I forget." He says. "Riiiiight. Uh there's a mermaid in your bathtub." She looks at him expectantly. "I'll get rid of her. Yeah she's supposed to leave yesterday." "Right, he's crazy Harry." She whispers. "Ugh, jumpio!" he jumps to the bathroom. "Hey, Amber, it's time to go." He picks her up. "Ron!" "No! Get out, my friends are freaked out. Come on, lemme throw you. Ugh. Sorry about that, Amber." He jumps back down. "Bath's all yours, Hermione." "I don't think I wanna take a bath anymore." "Suit yourself." He said.


	3. British Accent

"Hello it's me Hermione again. Today I'll be lecturing Ron and Harry." She said in a menacing tone. "Why'd you handcuff us?" Ron says, looking down at the handcuffs attaching Harry to himself. "I want my mommy!" "Too bad Harry your mom's dead. Now, I've been noticing that none of us have British accents! We're British brat…kids, so we should have accents!" "Why don't you just talk in it?" Ron asked. "Because…I don't know I'll start now!" a car honks as it pulls up with a strange girl in it. "Hey boys wanna come in for a ride?" "Oh, do we ever!" Harry exclaimed. "You're not going anywhere!" Hermione said. "Oh come Hermione, lighten up a little bit." The girl exclaimed. "You know what…you know what I think?!" Hermione pushes the girl's car over. "UGHHHH!!!" Hermione screamed. "Ahhh you made my hair get messed up! That's it. That's it come on!" the girl exclaims. Hermione throws her to the ground and they fight. Harry and Ron stare in excitement. "Oh yeah!!!" Harry cheers.


	4. Road Trip

"Hello it's me Hermione Granger…again." "Hey Hermione! You're actually talking in a British accent!" Harry exclaimed. "Yeah, Harry I know, and you, you actually have a scar on your forehead for once. Oh yeah. Anyway, today's road trip day. Unfortunately, Ron couldn't fit in, so we just taped him to the back." We see Ron with a piece of tape on him, holding him to the back of the car. "Why me? Why not Harry!?" "Because Harry's hott, ok let's get going." "I. Hate. Everything. Bloody. Hell." Ron mumbles angrily. Hermione starts driving. She starts to hum distractedly. "Hermione, why are you driving so slow?" "Because I want to, Harry, so shut up!" "Ok." They continue driving, and happen upon a girl standing by her car. "Oh my gosh can you please help me? My car b…broke down." She says out of breath. "Oh, sure what happened?" Harry asked. "I lost a wh…wheel. Please help me, I'm desperate here." "Oh sure, we can give you a lift." Hermione says. "That'd be absolutely won…." Her head falls off unexpectedly. "OH MY GOD, SHE LOST HER HEAD AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hermione screamed. "AHHHHH!" Harry and Ron scream in unison.


	5. Hogwarts Field Trip Part 1

"Hey it's me Harry Potter…and Ron. Guess where we are, we're in the Caribbean." He exclaims. "But, there's no pirates." Ron said confused. "Shut up Ron. Anyway, instead of soaking the fluorescent light, we are soaking the sun…oh yeah." Turns to Ron. "Umm, Ron, aren't you hot in that. Like, orange suit?" he asked. "Of course I am Harry. But it's my identity; you know the red hair, orange hair thing." He explained. "Uhh, that's a suit, not hair." "…shut up." Hermione walks over in a wet bathing suit. "Hey guys." "Hermione, WOAH. You…you're looking good." Ron said. "Uh, thanks." "Wanna go skinny dipping with me?" He asked. "No." "How 'bout me?" Harry asked. "No. You guys are freaks, gosh. I'm gonna go back in the water." Gets thrown into water. "Let's go spy on her.


	6. Part 2

Hermione is standing out in the water. "Hey it's me, Hermione. Uh, Ron and Harry are acting really weird. They wanted to go skinny dipping with me. Just because I put on this red bathing suit, they think they can do anything. I don't think so. Let's see what they're doing." She turns to yell across to the guys on land. "Hey you!" "Yeah?" Harry asked. "What are you doing?" "Watching you!" he answered. She turns back around. "Ugh told you they're perverts." Yelling again, "Why?" "Cause you're hott!" turns around again. "See, my…I was right. They're crazy, nasty boys. Yep. I think I'm gonna skinny dip now."


	7. Part 3

Back to Harry and Ron. "Hermione is the hottest babe alive with that beautiful suit on." Harry sighed. "Ah, ah!" "Oh my gosh, Hermione what's wrong?" he asked. "I've been attacked by the seaweed monster." "Oh my god! Take that seaweed off right now, you're not hott!" Ron exclaimed. "Ugh, I've been attacked!" "Hermione take it off. You're not hott with it on!" seaweed is thrown on the boys. "Ahhhhhh! I told you the seaweed monster!" "…uh this is just great." Harry says. "This is the worst vacation ever! Eww, go away! Petificus totum…or imperius…something, ahh" "Hermione, give it up, just go along with it." "No, ahhh. Expelliarmus!" "Ugh, just stop it Hermione, it keeps attacking more!" "Ugh, I'm done I just can't."


	8. Hogwarts Exam, Music

"Ugh, I can't take anymore, I can't study anymore!" "Ron, we need to study for our exams!" "No, I'm going to bed. I hate everything!" "Uh, he's mental. It's like only six-thirty." "Oh, Hermione I have to go now. I have detention with Umbridge again." "Ugh, that woman, slap her for me." "Right, I'll do that. Hey, what are you reading?" "Magic stuff by a magic person." "Wow that sounds like a really good book." "I know it is, you should read it sometime." "Right, I'll put that on my to-do list." Harry Potter theme starts playing. "Do you hear that? What is that?" "It's music Harry, duh." "I know w…why is it playing?" "Ugh you haven't noticed it Harry, for the last years?! It's been playing since our first year of Hogwarts." "It has?" "Yeah, don't you remember, when I was like 'hey guys don't you hear that music?' and you're just like 'shut up Hermione, you're mental!' " The music stops. "Hey it stopped." "I know it does that. Like, it plays for a little bit, and it like, stops." "Why?" "I don't know! Does it look like I control the music?" "Well, I was…you know everything! You should know why!" "Harry, just go to your detention!" "You know what Hermione, you're so mean! I'm gonna go cry." He goes to detention. "HARRY, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO MY DETENTION THIRTY SECONDS AGO!" "I was, I was just leaving, and I just heard this odd music." "Oh there you go, lying again. We're going to have to do more lines!" "Rubbish!" Back to Hermione. "Hmm…now they're all gone…music please!" panic! At the disco starts playing, and she starts dancing. "Oh yeah, I love this!"


End file.
